no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
