Just mADE A PArabola og urine
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize