he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
please come you make the beer taste better
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize
