ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
