Apparently you make a good broom.
from now on my penis is your penis
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
