you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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