is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
did you just send me my own nude
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
