In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Randomize
