can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
