try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
