So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
