Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I intend to get homeless drunk
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
