He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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