when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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