pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
