Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
