I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize