it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Randomize
