Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
