We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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