no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
