I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize