Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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