the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
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