I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I enjoy the company of your penis
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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