I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
