im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
