is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
