69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
