Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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