Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
