wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
