Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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