google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
