i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Will exercising make me less horny?
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