we were pretty classy up until the second keg
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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