I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Four minutes until I can fart!
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
