I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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