Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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