you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
