Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
