oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
