isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
