hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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