What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
