I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Randomize
