I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize