Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
