Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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