do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
