Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
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