It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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