remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
