chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
