Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
ā€ˇ"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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