All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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