We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
So many bounce houses so little time
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
