I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
