after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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